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Me and my ex the end

deanbevan

Once K had got together with her new bloke his ex-started messaging me as they had been friends until K ran off with her Partner and as she knows everyone, she started telling me a lot of what was happening down there. That’s how I would find out K was in hospital. The last few months contact could go weeks without happening when it did you could see K looked gray skinned by this stage, she had no front teeth and looked really ill, but she had looked bad before then looked ok again.

I got a text on a Friday night from a fiend saying that K was in hospital, and it didn’t look good, I just took it with a pinch of salt as I had been told that many times before. Then on the Saturday night my phone started ring and it was Ks dad which was very unusual I answered and the first thing he said was that he needed to have a serious talk with me, he went on to say that K was in hospital and they didn’t know how it was going to end. He told me he had gone round to Ks house to take her dog for a walk like he had done everyday K was lay on the sofa and the last thing she said was love you dad, when he returned with the dog she was unresponsive, so they got her to the hospital. He asked me not to stop him and his wife seeing the twins and I said that I would not, and he just needed to think about his daughter, and we can talk about the twins later.

Even Tho we knew it could happen me and my wife were a bit shocked, but we agreed she been bad before and always pulled through.

Around 10am the next day he rang me again and I could hear his voice was very shaky. He said that he was wanted to let me know that the hospital had called, and it was time, so they were heading in to turn off the life support machines.

You know I had always said that if K passed away, I would tell her dad what thought of him for the way he put my daughter’s lives at risk for lying in the court case and for the things he had said about me. But hearing his voice knowing how much he loved K all the anger changed to sorrow this man that I was once close to has lost two daughters in ten years at the age of 38 I can’t imagine how he feels. But it left me feeling really confused because my feelings switched, and then the fact the twins what do I tell them how I support them. We decided that we would hold off telling them we spoke to the school doctors, everyone we could, to get advice on what to do.

The twins nan and grand dad were never allowed to know where the girls lived had never really met tammy she was just the devil, it was coming up to the twins 4th birthday so I asked if they felt up for it to come to my house meet tammy see where the twins live and the people around them. Abd of course the main for the twins come to their birthday party. The twins loved the fact that nanny and granddad were at the house and the party they still look at the pictures and videos now. It was good I had a chat with him he said he was just fighting his daughters corner even when it was wrong to do so but he loved his daughter, I said that I was fighting for my daughters and for my daughters sake I thought we should just start over and forget the past. Don’t get me wrong there has been a few things said I don’t think on purpose but I have had to bite my tongue but the only time I have pulled him up on something he said is when the twins got diagnosed with FASD I called him and told him, a couple of days later he came down to devon and said he had been reading up on it and did I know that alcohol stays in a mans seamen for six weeks. I did have to tell him to wind it in, I know he was just trying to cover for his daughter.

 

Over the next 8 months the twins started to go Dorset and stay at Nanny and granddads house which they loved the last time they stayed there it would have been K 40th so her other two children had been to see the twins and had been talking about going to the grave so when I went to pick up the twins they started asking me about mommy Ks grave, granddad said that nanny was finding it hard the twins asking questions so right or wrong on the spot I said that we should all go to the grave and explained to the twins that mommy K was in heaven.

Sadly, this ended up being the last time the twins would see nanny she had been struggling with the loss of K and just before the year anniversary nanny passed away. They never really had that strong bond with K even when she had contact with them in the two hours she would be outside having a smoke 4 or 5 times and contact for many reasons could go weeks with out happening, but since K past away the girls have built such a bond with nanny and granddad it hit the twins really hard even now its coming up to a year since she passed away I still get asked nearly every day is nanny is in heaven I miss nanny.

This is going to sound heartless but it is the way I feel, K would not accept there was any way her drinking had effected the twins, now she has gone left them to keep meeting more and more struggles in their little lives and she left her two other teenage children to find their way, in my eyes she has got away easy with it all she doesn’t see what she has done.   



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