After all the weeks the girls spent in the hospital it was finally time for them to come back to the house, I was excited to have them home but nervous at the same time. We were told that she was not to be left alone with the twins at any time, so her mom was going to come and stay while I was at work. No matter how much you get on with your mother-in-law you do not want to live with her lol. The first couple of days she was ok we had social services round and the health visitor the midwife and her drink support worker, after a few days she started drinking heavily again she even went as far as buying those spray air fresheners that go off every 15 minutes there must have been three or four of them in the living room pointing at the sofas, this would mask the smell of drink when the professionals would visit. After a week of being at home with the girls I had to go back to work which I didn’t feel bad about because her mom was there with her, but by lunch time I was getting phone calls saying how much she hated having her mom there and she could not cope with her and the twins. Like I say it was hard having her mom live with us, but she did everything all the cleaning, cooking, washing and did everything she could with the twins. As the next couple of weeks would go, she got worse than the fights with her mom would start she would say such spiteful things to her mom who to be fair had given up her own life to help her with keeping the twins. I can’t remember fully what happened but her mom had gone home and she wanted to go down to Dorset to show the twins off to everyone and I wasn’t allowed to go and when I said that she was banned from driving and I didn’t want her driving the twins she went mental punching biting and then she knocked me clean out with a frying pan, when I came around she was gone with the twins. I went to follow on down to Dorset but by the time I got to Barnstaple I was sick and feeling ill. I thought I needed to get checked out so I went to A&E I was very confused and didn’t really remember much of it but I had said something to the nurse but she didn’t get 100% what I said but she called the police and they come in to see me I didn’t say anything about her hitting me but they were filled in on the past by the hospital so they knew. They gave me their card and said if I needed help call them, and with that I discharged myself.
It turns out that she was pulled over on the way to Dorset or so she told me, but she got back on Sunday, and she still carried on driving. On the Thursday that week we had a meeting at the house with social worker and her drink support worker, and as normal she sat there and said everything she needed to and they said well done for staying clean and then the social worker said that she was going to down grade the girls status I was in shock like can you really not see what is going on here but I knew if I said anything she would go mental and go back to Dorset and make it as hard as she could for me to see the twins I didn’t know what to do but I knew if the lowered the status it would be the worst thing for the girls. After they left, she was right back on the wine. I just said that I had to go to work. I got to Bideford, and I called the social worker, and I asked her not to do it as things were not as clear as they seem. Two weeks later we had another meeting with them I had been into Asda before they got there and I could see that the social worker wasn’t happy when I answered the door, she was more business like when she sat down and she started saying we needed to talk about drinking I didn’t know her mom had let her drive in to see her drink support worker with the twins and when she was there she was breath aisle and she failed it. As all this was going on the drink support worker asked her to do another test and she was whispering to him that could they not today, needless to say she failed it again and she turned round and said that we had been out for lunch and she had one glass of wine, but I panicked thinking that it was just me and her at the house because her mom left just before the meeting and they are going to be thinking that we are both drinking and looking after the babies so I asked that they tested me they said it didn’t matter as it was about me and I told them no its about my daughters and I don’t want you leaving here putting in a report that there was no one sober at home with them, they didn’t want to but could see where I was coming from so I passed. Social worker pointed out that she was breaking the law by driving and she would no longer be lowering the girl’s status.
It was around this time that I found us a new house in Barnstaple through someone at work, it wasn’t the best house but it could have been lovely, it needed the gas heating looking at and the landlord gave me the keys to have the heating serviced and just wanted to know 48 hours before we started living in it.
That weekend her son came to stay at the house on his own and all was normal but on the Saturday night she lost it I mean really lost it she was lay on the bed making like snow angels talking to herself then she would go it another room smash something blame me or her son for it, she loved her son and even he that night was scared of her she come down stairs at one point and started attacking me hitting me with everything she could then she pulled out a kitchen knife and she tried to stab me in the belly, luckily it slashed my arm and I grabbed it off of her but I was pissing out blood while I was trying to stop the bleeding she had taken the twins up to the bed room. Me and her son just sat there watching that she did not do anything with twins I did not go up there because they were in the cot, and I could see them, and I did not want to fight with her in the bedroom. I called 999 and asked for an ambulance for her because since she had been sectioned, they kept saying that one more drink could kill her or make her lose her mind and with how bad she was acting that night that is what I thought had happened. They asked if she had been violent, and I did answer yes, I was thinking so they would then turn up with the police. Once I got off the phone Georgia started crying and she screamed to stop as soon as that started, I was upstairs and got Georgia out of the three and stood watching the monitor to make sure Dakota was ok as she would not let me take Dakota. Within two minutes the ambulance and police turned up and I said that she was acting mental and that Dakota was in the room with her the police offer went into the room and we were still watching the monitor the officer started talking to her and said that they needed to take the baby out of the room her reply was “ I don’t even know who’s fucking baby it is they have just left it here” it broke my heart that a mother could get into that much of a state that she didn’t know who her own baby was.
They took her to the hospital, the police officer wanted to see my arm and asked if I wanted to go to the hospital, I told him that I just wanted to get her son in bed settled and the twins settled this was at about 1.30am he sat with me until 4am waiting for an on duty social worker to say that it was safe to leave the twins with me but as it was approaching end of sift he left. I then had the health visitor turn up at 8am for her appointment which I knew nothing about, I had Georgia dressed and fed I was just getting Dakota dressed as she knocked the door, I had to explain what had happened and she could not get over it and she said she had no worries about me being with the girls and she checked the girls over and left me to it.
When it was visiting time we went to the hospital as soon as we got on the ward you could see how angry she was she was fuming, I should not have called an ambulance if they section her again it’s my fault and when she gets out I’m never going to see the girls again. Even when I told her why I called them, and her son said how scared he was, and she seen the cut on my arm it was still all my fault.
I do not think people understand what it is like to live in fear that you are going to lose your kids and when you are told every day it is going to happen if you do not do what you are told its fucking horrible. When she came back to the house, she was angry as hell, but she just went up to bed, which I was happy about. Over the next month she just kept getting worse she could not bond with Georgia because she would breast feed where Dakota would, I would get calls when I was at work you better come home and get your fucking baby and a lot of other things which I don’t want to put out there. Georgia was really with me at times when I was not there with her nanny, but I would do the night feeds and she slept on the sofa with me the whole time I think that is why she is the way she is with me know (my shadow)
We were moving things into the new house and when we got back to the old house I was the worse person under the sun and I don’t know why but I sat on the stairs that went from the summer kitchen and the winter kitchen I could see in to the living room where the twins were with her son and daughter, we were shouting at each other I was saying I can’t do this anymore and then bang I stumbled to my feet and I could feel the blood running down right away and I turned back and looked at her and she was clam as any just putting the kids diner in the oven which made me realize she was going to end up killing me if I don’t end it then and there, normally when she did something she was going mad and scream but this time there was nothing but that was it for me.
I got in my van and drove to a lay by two hundred yards up the road and I called the police, they turned up at the house and she acted like nothing had happened and they believed her. The officer called me and told me that she said I was lying and that he wanted me to come back to the house I said that I would not as I was bleeding really bad and I feel dizzy and I wanted him to come and help me I had to argue with him for about ten minutes and the I had to wait about ten more minutes for him to turn up, he opened my drives door and it was dark as hell he was rude as hell that I had made him drive up there and that I had made a false call he then asked me to turn the interior light on in my van. He could not believe the blood and the gash on my head and asked me to put my head down so he could see the wound and he got on his radio and said to his partner that there was no way this was self-inflicted and he needed to look for something with two prongs on it. He then said that he needed to get an ambulance to come and check me over.
He then informed me that his partner had called her mom down in Dorset and she was on her way up and when she got there, they were going to take her to the police station. If I had hit her, I would have been nicked right then and there but they waited 3 hours for her mom to get there.
The officer made me go back into the house and stand in the kitchen with my head still bleeding and she would walk through the kitchen laughing and shouting abuse at me and they just let her, the ambulance turned up and they started looking at my head they could not stop the bleeding they tired for what seemed like half an hour they then said that they could not stop it bleeding and they needed to take me to hospital I begged them to just glue it up and told them that if I leave and go to the hospital I don’t know if I’m ever going to see my daughters again. They made me promise that if I had any side effects or anything I would go to hospital and bandage my head up. Have to say thank you so much.
Her mom arrived and about half an hour later after she spoke to her mom, they took her off. I took the twins up to bed and tried to sleep. I wanted to make sure the twins were close to me. I remember my head ringing and pain down all my neck and my head bleeding all over the pillow. The next day was very awkward being there with her mom who kept saying sorry and she did not know where she went wrong with her daughter, I told her I cannot do this anymore and I can still see her saying oh dean please do not say that. Later that afternoon I got a call from a CID officer saying that she had spoken to my exe and that she believed that there was no danger and that it was a he said she said thing, she also ordered me to give her the key to the new house for her to stay in as she had nowhere else to go I tried to explain that it wasn’t my house and that I hadn’t even paid a deposit but she said I had no choice. But she did say that my ex was not allowed near me or to contact me for 30 days, her mom went to pick her up from the police station about 5.30 then around eight that night her mom brought her to the house I just could not believe it.
Luckly, she stayed in the car but the fact she was on the drive with what had happened was worrying, I told her mom that I was calling social services in the morning, and I would let her know what they said. I hardly slept that night knowing they both had keys to the house her mom bringing her to the house already it was a bad night’s sleep then at 8 am It sounded like the front door was being kicked in I looked out the window and it was her mom she was on the war path wanted to see the girls and to get things from the house she started saying I was lying and her daughter had stopped drinking and wouldn’t do any of the things I said she had. I told her that she had seen her drinking, seen what she was like with me and the kids I told her I wanted her to leave and she refused to leave and was kicking off so I said I’m not doing this as I’m concussed so I went upstairs and called the police. She had her bags packed on the side when they got there, and she had a box of the twin’s milk next to her bags and luckily the officer said she was not taking it.
When the social worker turned up, she said how sorry she was and that my ex had really pulled the wool over her eyes and that she was there for me whenever I needed her. She gave me two choices that day I could have my ex back and the girls would go into care or I have the girls on my own and my ex was not allowed back, I didn’t even have to think about it they are staying with me, I never ever thought that would be an option a dad to have twins that are 5 months old and one that was 75% breast fed. She did ask me to see if I could get someone to support me, so I had no choice, I had to take the twins to my mother’s house who had not even met the girls.
First thing I had to try to sort out was we had given in the notice on the house so I had to get the landlord to come round and ask if I could stay but they had sold the house so on Christmas eve we would be homeless, my head was killing for days I was dealing with being homeless the twins her animals then I had social workers turning up all hours and every day because they were getting a lot of calls from my exes friends saying I was abusing the twins and they had to investigate every accusation I told them come whenever you want check the girls over they have never been safer than they are now.
After a week of this they had to warn my exes to get her friends to stop, a lot of them I had not even met just sad people.
It was about tens after it all happened I was running on empty and the girls weren’t sleeping very well (I would find out why years later) and Dakota where she had mainly been breast fed was missing cuddling up to some boobies to sleep on, I have boobies but they just not that big (YET) the social worker come to visit and she could see I was struggling and I told her that I feel it was all my fault if the first time she hit me I hit her back may be it would never have gotten this bad. I am 6ft 3 20stone she was 5ft3 and 11 stone I boxed for years and I used to love a punch up in the pub I could have put an end to it, she told flat out if you hit her once it wouldn’t have mattered what she done after that you would never have ended up with the twins.
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