Just after she tried to cave my head in with a saucepan, she started asking her mom to come to Devon to stay at the holiday park across the road from us and help her for a week or two. Me or her mom had no idea why she just did not say. She was drinking 5 to 6 bottles of wine a day and at this point she was experiencing health issues to do with the drink and in her own mind she had decided it was time to stop drinking. Which was amazing.
On day one she told me when I got home that she was no longer drinking, and I said I would go along with it with her to support her. She was feeling it, so she was smoking more weed than normal to help her stop. It was going ok till day five I did not go to work because she looked extremely ill that morning. I knew things were bad when she asked me to call her mom and tell her how bad her drinking was and that she needed her mom and dad to come to Devon that day.
By the time they arrived she was not doing very well at all as soon as they got to the house me, and her mom got her in the car and went to the hospital. I had to carry her into A and E where they rushed her into a room as her body was starting to close down as it was struggling without the alcohol which she had been drinking for the last 20 years.
She was out off it for the first two days she didn’t know what was going on, me being thick I thought when she woke up it would all be over how wrong was I. she started coming around and saying she was in pain and that she wanted me to get a doctor. I went out to the desk in the hallway, and I started talking to a nurse asking about pain relief. When I could feel her eyes burning on my back I turned round, and she went mental. Screaming that me and the nurse were having sex and all types of things I was stood the other side of the desk from the nurse, and it had been two minutes if that. She then barricaded herself in the side room she was in started smashing things up it was mad.
The ward called up the security guard who was build like a house I went mad saying she needed help not a massive bloke intimidating her (little did I know that he would end up being a star and helping me get through the next few months)
The doors open in and out on the ward we were on so the nurses ended up opening the doors so the doctors could get in there, they got her claimed down and she was ok for an hour or two then she went mad at me screaming she hated me I cheated on her with that slag nurse she didn’t want me in the hospital it was four am at this stage and I said that fine I’ll go if that’s what she wanted I didn’t go far but I left.
While I was gone, they put the ward on lock down because she was trying to leave but as she was trying the doors one of the nurses she had upset with the abuse opened the doors so she went missing and from five am me and the security guard were searching the hospital. When we found her, she was screaming, going mad head butting me, spitting, punching anything she could do to me because it was my fault, she was in hospital cos I had taken her in.
A couple of hours later someone came down to see me to say that they were going to section her, but she wanted to see me her mom and dad. When her mom and dad got to the hospital, they pulled up outside the main entrance and a doctor brought her down to see us. The kids were in the car and even Tho she was being abusive to me and her mom already the doctor said that she should say goodbye to the kids as it would make her happier that she had seen them. She went to the car said something in her dad’s ear that turned him white, and he was not right for weeks after. She gave the two kids who were crying a hug and told them both that she was putting them in care, and it was all mine, her mom and dad’s fault. How could a doctor miss misread that so bad.
I remember going to see her in the mental health ward after she was sectioned, she was trying to break out crying and screaming at the door it was horrible to see. Once they had calmed her down, they let me in to see her and she hated me, it was all my fault she was trying to attack me, and the nurses had to restrain her, and I walked out not knowing what to do. One of the nurses came out and spoke to me and reassured me it would get better it would just take time and she was in the right place. I had to work the next day and she started calling me her mom and dad at 5.30 am screaming abuse down the phone at us all, when I got to work at 8, she started calling people I worked with saying I had her locked up for no reason. I was sat having 10 o’clock break with someone I worked with and I answered the phone to her and she was screaming at me and after 10 minutes I just put the phone down and he just looked at me and said why the fuck do you put up with that you need to ran while you can. The boss turned up half an hour later saying she had been on the phone to him and the office, he was on site for an hour he left after having a go at me because I had 64 missed calls plus texts he told me to turn it off I told him I couldn’t because I was expecting a call from the hospital he said I was the crazy one for standing by her and told me not to come back to work until things were sorted.
I went to see her every visiting time for the next few days, and she was vile to me, saying how ugly and fat I was I was the worse looking person she had ever been with, she started calling her exes again in front of me. I didn’t know whether I was coming or going, I had to go see her all the time I was living with her two kids and her mom in my house which I didn’t mind but I was just trying to hold everything together for everyone else and to be honest I was falling apart. Her mom asked the hospital to take her phone away because of the effect it was having on everyone and although it got me more abuse it was nice just to have a few hours with no abuse.
She was told by the nurses that if she started behaving she could have her phone back so she was ok for a little while, she was joining in with the group things one of which she wanted me to sit in on, it was horrible the things she was saying about abuse she had suffered in her past from her cousin raping her when she was 8 and everyone knowing about it, then the one that made me feel sick was her ex husband would get her wasted on coke to the point that she was being sick and as she was bent over the toilet being sick he would start having anal sex with her because when she was heaving her bum would tighten around him. I sat there thinking what the hell how is that normal cos in her mind it showed how much he wanted her. There were other accounts she retold but after that one I was kind of in shock. She slated me because I never showed her I wanted her in a rough way people would hold her down and have sex with her weather she wanted it or not because they wanted her that badly, I never used my strength against her in any way especially sexually and that meant I was worse then the others.
She started to make friends on the ward and she changed a bit started acting funny with me and then would ask me to buy things for some chap on there and I went in and said that I hadn’t because I didn’t have that much money on me cos she had control of all the bank accounts and she went mental that she didn’t have his things I told her that its not my place to buy his stuff and she kicked me out.
I was sat outside talking to her mom on the phone and one of the nurses came out and I offered him a lift home cos we got on well. He started asking me if we owned our own home and if the kids were ours, to which I said no to both he turned to me and said so you can walk away, and no one would blame you. I fought it was weird for him to say that as everyone else at the hospital wanted me to stay with her, I would a couple of years later find out it was because he had caught her and her male friend having sex.
The whole time we had been together she never ate, now that she was not drinking, she was eating and putting on a lot of weight, which she hated. After a few weeks being on the ward she was allowed out for a few hours a week. And it just made things worse she would want to go for a meal and that meant she ordered drink and when I tried to stop her, she would kick off wherever we were eating, she got drink tested when she got back, and they gave her warnings for drinking. After 8 weeks she was allowed home for the night and I was dreading it as soon as we walked in the door she went straight up stairs to one of her finding places and come down with a load of base I couldn’t believe it she just didn’t care she spent the night on the phone to her mates back home telling them how shit I was and that she was leaving me and its horrible to say I just kept thinking I cant wait to take you back to the ward. I had to call them about 2am because she started trying to beat the shit out of me and I wanted her out of the house I think that was the only time apart from the last night we were together I actually did some thing to show her I wasn’t going to stand for it but she said how sorry she was and I just said it was ok.
I took her back the next day and she hadn’t drunk so I thought everything would be ok turns out she had been drinking as there was wine bottle hidden in her daughters bedroom and they also drug tested her which she failed I tried to come up with a cover story for her but it was no good then just kicked her out. She thought it was great she came home and started drinking none stop again, I pleaded with her as the week before her ex-husband took custody of their two kids and if she stood any chance of getting them back, she had to stay clean.
She drank as heavily as before and no matter what me or her parents said she did not care. The social worker came round to meet her and she was so rude to the social worker it was the final nail in the coffin as far as her getting her kids back at that time, when the worker left she went mental me her mom and dad were the worse people ever they had driven up from Dorset to be at the meeting but that didn’t matter they were scum, she got that bad with me I walked out a few hours later her mom and dad pulled in behind me in the layby I had been sat in for hours trying to clear my head, they said they couldn’t put up with her any more and they bagged me to go back and support her, I didn’t want to I really was just drained from it all but I said ok and I went back where she hit me with a wine bottle bite me punched me tried to head butt me and then sat in the living on the phone to her friend saying I was evil and that she had taken an overdose. I didn’t say anything I just could fight anymore but I did check what she had taken and it was the weakest tablets she had there were ones in there that would have killed her in minutes and she had taken a lot of the ones she did take, I called her an ambulance so she got help but I let her go to the hospital alone I didn’t want to do it anymore and I needed to try to show her that.
The hospital gave her drugs to stop her drinking and she started to get clean, you would think that was a good thing, but she was a horrible drunk and she was worse when sobber. It did not stop her from drinking 100%. At first, she just put wine in an oasis bottle, so people did not know she was drinking. The last court case I went to with her over her two kids her own solicitor said she could smell drink on her, and she explained it away as she had a cold and had taken medicine for it. I remember the first time we went to Asda when she was clean, and you could see how much it was hurting her walking past the drink lane. She was so unhappy and because she was not drinking or did not have loads of drugs all the great friends, she had stopped bothering with her and it turned out it was my fault.
The fights got worse. From this point I tried everything I could to help her. I was driving down to Dorset every weekend or other weekend depending on when she could see the kids just because I wanted her to see them. It was hard cos she had to be supervised but I was not allowed to supervise because I had stood by and watched her drink and carry on around the kids, I was the one doing everything to keep them safe I just did not make her stop drinking lol. We were meant to go down one Saturday and she had been really bad for a few days and I had hardly slept I got home on the Friday after work and she was pack ready to go I said that I believed we were leaving in the morning and I needed some sleep before I drove that far I really couldn’t keep my eyes open so I was the worse of the worse I just sat down on the sofa as she was going mad and she stormed out the room only to come back in standing behind me and hit me over the head with a frying pan a couple of times, dam I can still hear my ears ringing thinking about it, this would become her go to thing stand behind me and hit me on the head with cups, pans, plates and even a dogs bone. Don’t get me wrong I didn’t feel most of it I’m not sure if she knocked me out or not but I definitely only remember bits from that time, when she would bite kick and punch me I’m a bit bloke and she was only a little thing so she was never going to do much damage, I used to hate it Tho cos after she had done it and smashed what ever she wanted to either throwing it or hitting me with it she screamed at me to cleaning it up.
We were not getting on at all really, I had rented a container and when I would leave for work most mornings, I would take a few of my things and my son’s things and put them in the container and she never even noticed. When I had had enough and tell her I wanted out she would tell me how sorry she was and beg me to stay then we would have sex.
This happened a couple of times while she was clean then she dropped the bombshell after being told she was unable to have any more kids because of the drink she was pregnant…….
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